Truth or Lies

Today’s discussion topic: how mean can your mother be?

Well folks I’ve got the perfect answer. Today right after I wake up my mother decides to say “wow Dan must really love you because you’re so messy I don’t know how he can stand it.”

wow just wow!

It’s true my parents aren’t clingy but I’m to the point where it’s annoying that all of your mothers are clinging to YOU! Yes! YOU all YOU people with parents still trying to give you breast milk PLEASE STOP letting me see your mother’s wall comments, tell your parents NO you cannot be my fb friend. BECAUSE as your friend, or someone who is saying what your friends won’t I am here to tell you we receive more agony reading your mothers clingy fb posts. IF your mother feels the need to tell you online, how much she loves you when you’re currently in the same house as her IT IS IN FACT TO MUCH FUCKING INFORMATION! Seriously, it’s worse than watching to love birds make out with very obvious tongue action in a very public yet not crowded enough place. YES I am saying this right now to you child of clinging mother please don’t make the rest of us share in your pain.

at 5am

went to bed around 930 and now woke up wide awake at freaking 5am, great just great, 5am in the US isn’t some beautiful thing like in Russia, no here  it’s depressing darkness.

hey

Who wants perfection when flaws are so much more interesting…perhaps its the flaws we think are perfect, making perfection different to everyone and therefore impossible to define and achieve….hmmm

its a bird its a plane its a…

Holy shit it’s Mother Russia and she’s pissed…RRRRRRRUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

xoxoxoxo

Thoughts of love and memories of hope

A dream to come and words to loath

A foggy future doth come to pass

As daydream ends, reality comes, alas,

I wish I could foresee this story’s end

To prepare for something more then the tears or smiles

That may become my fate like days and miles.

For it is my soul I bet on this life’s great debate

Is love enough? Or is there no solution to chose my fate?

Can my heart come to tare with some foregone conclusion?

But if it be joy, let it be certain not confusion

And if there be sorrow,

Let it be swift on the ‘morrow

Let the tears pass with joy, or not last

Forever and always are the words I fear most

For their potential truth I would boast,

But for their falsehood I quiver

As if I’d fallen in the iciest of rivers

I fear the answers to questions I don’t know to ask

I fear the thoughts I cannot read upon a glance.

If there be laughter, let it never become past

If there be tears let them never last

“It was a dream love, just a dream”

I can hear him say it as if t’were now

But, it wasn’t my love, (I think) nigh’ t’was real for me.

T’was a dream of joy and children to love

O’ twas a life not mine to love.

Twas a life not bequeethed upon me.

“It was a dream love, just a dream.”

O to live in that dream, I would my love

I would stay in the dream with you all my life

O’ what a life it would be, with joy and love

There was no anguish my love

Not in this dream, you were happy

Nigh you were your own dream, happy and certain my love

“It was just a dream my love, just a dream”

Cannot light shine where we place it?

Cannot the sun shine upon even the darkest of places?

My thoughts are lost, I cannot find the answers

Fear is overcoming my hope

I feel small and meek, like a mouse in a field with no grass.

I don’t wish to loose that which I love,

Yet I cannot keep you, if you be not happy

I am a mouse

Once long ago I was the Great Wall and now I have fallen

Fallen under unrealistic desires

Nigh I cannot prevent your joy

If I cannot create it, then I be damned away!

Yes, away into the cosmos!

If thou doubts I am good for thee

Then risk nothing more on the occassion,

For if certainty is gone, alas

Nothing can last without it.

I would wish you knew how beautiful I find thee

How the tears on my cheek even adorn the beauty they reflect

Perhaps I am silly,

But I care not,

Once I relax against you the world melts away

Your heart beats and it’s the music that fuels my own

I do not wish your guilt for I would take your pain unto me

Were it a possible outcome.

But, I cannot sadly prevent your emotions from taking way

And I cannot read your thoughts as I once remember

I am searching for solutions, but none have I found

So I shall look until my heart aches

And my eyes fail me

Until the Sahara never sees a drop of rain

I wish I could erase this fear, this worry

But you hath described my most feared outcomes

They cannot be shaken

Now they spread within me like the Plague.

But, should you not want to speak to me each morning?

Should the idea of life without me not shorten your breath?

Am I alone in these feelings?

Nigh I am not alone but I am not entirely shared either I think.

Yet, it remains like the sweat on ones’ brow

It remains a constant fear

Why should you want others time more than mine?

More questions I cannot answer

More pain I cannot untie

Je ne sais pas, je ne sais pas,

Its echo has become my mantra

You must know, I am changed

You must know deep down that I shall refuse to give up

Some part of you must see the pain in my eyes

The fear on my lips

The smile that never reaches my eyes

The panic quivering through my hands

I will not let go, tis’ a fact,

The control is my poison,

I cannot fathom it

It is no small matter crushing hopes and dreams

Aye hopes and dreams

“It was a nightmare my love, just a nightmare”

Yes, one month bad cannot mean love is over

Aye twas a nightmare my love,

You are right, always right,

There is always hope my dearest always

I am yours and you are mine, always and forever,

Delta quadrant…